- Ashton Rawley gave birth to three sets of twins.
- Her first twin pregnancy was planned via IVF, her second and third pregnancies had some surprises.
- This is her story, as told to Heather Marcoux.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Ashton Rawley. It has been edited for length and clarity.
The story of our family is a story about an extreme shift for my husband Eric and me. There was a time when we were struggling with unexplainable infertility issues when we didn't know if we would ever have children at all.
Now, we're driving a Ford Transit van because we have six car seats.
I gave birth to three sets of twins in five years. First came Amelia and Eloise, then Owen and Wyatt two years ago, and in March our youngest set, Rose and Violet, were born.
The three pregnancies were different
The thing is, only the first one was an intentional twin situation. We did IVF and transferred two embryos, intending to have twins after years of waiting.
Then we decided to try for one more baby. We transferred one embryo and that embryo split into a set of identical twins. This was statistically improbable — there was a 1% chance of that happening
I was very scared when we found out that we were expecting twins again, but I figured it doesn't matter if you have three kids or four kids — every parent is just figuring it out as they go along. I knew we could do that. Plus, we have a lot of extended family locally who are such a huge help. If we didn't have that support system, we would be in a lot of trouble.
Having family close by who were able to take care of the older twins when the babies were in the NICU was necessary. I don't know how we would have gotten through it without our family members babysitting and bringing us meals.
Thanks to our support system, we made it through Owen and Wyatt's NICU stay and then did it again when they were toddlers.
This last set of twins wasn't assisted by any kind of medical or reproductive intervention. This was a completely spontaneous pregnancy with no fertility assistance, which was another shock.
We weren't exactly trying to have more children but we weren't exactly preventing it either. Having gone through infertility, we just didn't think that having an unassisted pregnancy was a possibility for us.
It's a lot of work
Having three sets of twins has been a lot. It's incredible, but it's a lot of work.
Whether it's a bottle, a diaper change, or help cutting their food — someone always needs something. It can be a bit of a sensory overload, and sometimes I do need a break.
I truly believe that self-care for moms should not just be taking a shower or getting groceries — those are basic-care tasks, not some wonderful moment for mom to be alone — but as someone on her third set of twins, I'm not exactly able to book a spa day. I can take time for myself where and how I can, thanks to my husband and our support system.
For example, last night I took my dinner and one of the babies to my bedroom and ate alone, with just one of the babies, because that's what I needed. It felt relaxing to only have one baby while my husband was taking care of the other five.
Having three sets of twins means someone always needs something, but it doesn't mean that I always have to be the person to do it for them.
I share my story because I want people struggling with infertility to know that their situation can change. I'm also sharing it so that parents of multiple multiples realize that someone else knows how hard it is and that they should buy a wagon instead of a stroller. Trust me on that one.